Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor?
Sometimes a simple psychological model can help us look at a complicated social issue. Stephen Karpman’s so-called Drama Triangle identifies three roles: the victim, the rescuer and the persecutor.
When I thought about this, I asked myself: can we recognize certain patterns in Curaçao society within these three roles?
Not because Curaçao is one big drama. Nor because every Curaçaoan fits into one of these categories. But perhaps the Drama Triangle can help us take a closer look at ourselves.
The Victim
The victim says: “There is nothing I can do about it.”
In a society, that attitude can take different forms. We can point to our colonial past, the Netherlands, politicians, economic circumstances, a lack of opportunities or each other.
Many of these factors are real and deserve serious attention. Our history influences the society we live in today. Absolutely.
But a problem arises when our history changes from an explanation for certain circumstances into a reason why we no longer have to take responsibility ourselves.
Then the question is no longer: “What have others done to us?” but rather: “What are we going to do about our situation today?”
That is a fundamental difference.
The Rescuer
Then comes the second role: the rescuer.
The rescuer says: “I will solve it for you.”
We recognize this role in our society as well. Sometimes we expect a politician, government, leader, entrepreneur or someone else to come and solve our problems.
During elections, expectations are often raised considerably. Promises are made that progress will come, problems will be addressed and people’s lives will improve.
But a democratic society cannot function solely on the expectation that someone else will come to rescue us.
A government has responsibilities. Politicians have responsibilities. But citizens, educational institutions, entrepreneurs, civil society organizations and, ultimately, every individual also have responsibilities.
A society that is constantly searching for a rescuer may unintentionally diminish its own sense of power.
The Persecutor
And then there is the persecutor.
The persecutor says: “You are the problem.”
This is another role we can easily recognize.
The Netherlands gets blamed. The government gets blamed. The opposition gets blamed. The previous government gets blamed. The elite gets blamed. The population gets blamed. Young people get blamed. The older generation gets blamed.
Sometimes criticism is entirely justified. Power must be scrutinized, and those who govern must be held accountable.
But criticism becomes destructive when assigning blame becomes the endpoint rather than the beginning of finding a solution.
The Danger Lies in Switching Roles
Perhaps the most interesting aspect of the Drama Triangle is that people do not remain permanently in one role.
The victim can become the persecutor. The rescuer can eventually become the victim. The persecutor can then present himself as the rescuer.
And so everyone keeps moving around within the same triangle while the underlying problem remains unresolved.
Perhaps, therefore, we need to learn to ask a different question as a society.
Not: Who is the victim?
Not: Who should rescue us?
And not only: Who is to blame?
But rather: What responsibility are we willing to take ourselves?
From Dependence to Maturity
Perhaps this is an important part of our development as a society.
A mature society does not deny its history. It does not forget colonialism. It does not pretend that economic and political power structures never existed.
But neither does it use its history as an excuse to surrender control over its future.
We can acknowledge what has been done to us while simultaneously deciding what we want to create for ourselves from this point forward.
That applies to our economy.
It applies to our education.
It applies to our politics.
It applies to our culture.
And perhaps most importantly, it applies to the way we discuss issues with one another.
Criticism does not mean that you are against Curaçao. Asking a question does not mean that you are against the government. Having a different opinion does not mean that you are against someone.
I continue to emphasize this.
Perhaps we need to learn to see disagreement as a sign of a society that thinks.
Who Will Step Out of the Triangle?
There is a way out of the Drama Triangle: taking responsibility instead of remaining trapped in the behavior of the victim, rescuer or persecutor.
For Curaçao, that could mean not only asking who held us back, but also asking what we can build ourselves.
Not only waiting for a rescuer, but taking initiative ourselves.
Not only identifying someone to blame, but demanding solutions and accountability.
Our future is ultimately not determined solely by the Netherlands, our government, our history or our economic circumstances.
Part of our future is also in our own hands.
Perhaps that is the most important question we should ask ourselves:
Do we want to keep going around in the Drama Triangle, or do we dare to step outside it?
Because perhaps social freedom does not begin when someone liberates us.
Perhaps it begins when we realize that we ourselves can take responsibility for the direction in which our society is heading.
Eugène Maduro
Teacher & Entrepreneur