By definition, an act of “cheating on” is to be sexually unfaithful (Merriam-Webster). Whilst it is generally associated with sex, it can also be subjective. People assemble their own standpoints of what it means to be unfaithful. Considering “infidelity” as developing an intimate bond with someone with or without sex, they determine what behaviors are acceptable and which are not.
Platonic emotional cheating occurs when friendly feelings towards another person gradually turn into romantic or sexual ones. At this stage, the man starts looking at his partner as the person who helps him complete daily tasks and obligations. He ceases to connect with her on an emotional level. He begins flirting with the other person and turning the affair physical.
Men are creative in explaining why they cheat, they find ways to blame their spouse, their boss, the circumstances even boredom and sexual desires for their choices. Factors such as being too old, not handsome, or rich enough, and struggling with the mid-life crisis might bolster their insecurity. Immaturity and lack of understanding of the negative outcome of cheating, makes it easier for a man of facile and shallow intellect to hurt his partner!
Even if society is more tolerant of men’s misdeeds, it does not mean they can embark on their sexual adventures as they please. There are always other options for a relationship recovery, such as therapy, healthy communication. Knowing the reason behind cheating is helpful as well to put a stop for this recurrent behavior.
It is all about the philosophy of loving someone and being in love. The first means you are only concerned with how you are loved, being in love means you worry about how to make your partner feel loved as well. Cheating falls in the first category, when a man starts building his unrealistic insistences, that his partner should fulfill his desires and fantasies regardless of her own sentiments. Monitoring the partner behavior all the time would have a detrimental effect on the relationship. There are men who hide their cheating and others do not bother to let their partner know about it out of revenge or even carelessness. In other cases, the infidelity is linked to some childhood issues, he is unable and unwilling to be fully committed to one person, so he cheats to mend old wounds. The main question remains whether you can trust a cheater again? “once a cheater always a cheater”.
“Dan Savage”, an American author and sex columnist, has likened monogamy to alcoholism, if you fall off the wagon, you should be given a chance to get back on. Remaining faithful has everything to do with honor, expectations, and the truth. Once honesty is lost, the relationship becomes complicated and with no value.
We need to pass on respect for commitments to the future generations, it will help shape their behavior and balance their choices. © ReinaSankari 2020
Twitter: @Reina Sankari