“I am lonely, neglected, I feel like a housekeeper, I need attention and affection”.
I heard this platitude many times on different occasions, it is the beginning of the end in a relationship for a woman. If you are settled, happy and still in love, then why cheat? Why to give the best of yourself elsewhere and bring home the leftovers? Voluntarily sex with someone other than your partner makes it irrelevant whether you think it was mostly your fault or not! This gut punch feeling of having an affair and keeping it a secret is a defacement of trust.
Dating sites, webcams, and many different apps made cheating a lot easier and more socially acceptable in a digital world. At the end it is the woman’s choice to ask the question what if? It is a wide range area of exploration and adventure without knowing a destination. If cheating comes from realizing that she is wanted emotionally and sexually, she will go all the way to fulfill the gaps and breach the relationship.
If a woman cheats, maybe it is because she does not accept to be trifled with when she is mistreated, she might think cheating can be a kind of therapy to raise her self-esteem.
Another predisposing factor is a personality disorder, that interferes with her ability to maintain a committed relationship. Frustration from attempting to solve problems in the marriage can also be a trigger not to value monogamy and not to care about the consequences of cheating.
Whether it is a call for help, or an exit strategy, or a revenge, the cheater alone is responsible for cheating! After feeling disconnected from her partner, unappreciated and ignored, she considers the new affair as a transitional way to leave the marriage and to fill a void or to seek for emotional intimacy.
Psychological issues play a role as well. Narcissistic women have an engorged sense of importance, and a deep need for excessive attention and admiration. They will always scout for another affair outside marriage.
Women who married for the wrong reasons, undergo a sense of "buyer's remorse". Conflict avoidance in communication and commitment in marriage can only make it worse.
Sadly, most of today’s societies praise promiscuity, as if the value of a woman could be determined by the number of sexual partners she has.
People tend to rationalize cheating, if everyone else is doing it, you feel a need to cheat too! © ReinaSankari 2020
Twitter: @Reina Sankari